For some people, Christmas is an intoxicating time with an energy that is as illuminating as the Christmas lights. Work is winding down and a much sort after downtime is peaking its head around the corner.
For others, however, there is a melancholy, heaviness, anxiety, and maybe even a deep sense of depression that dims the ‘festival of lights’ into bleek darkness. The holiday often presents a dizzying array of demands – cooking meals, baking, shopping, cleaning, and entertaining to name just a few.
Then there is the stress of family dynamics or issues between certain members of the family. Worrying about your health or the health of your loved ones. Furthermore, the holidays can be distressing if you are bereaved or newly divorced. The level of light in the holiday season is as individual as your present circumstances.
Stress and depression can ruin your holidays and have serious implications for your health. If the holiday season has brought some unwelcome guests, namely, stress, and depression, then here are some tips to help you cope.
1. Acknowledge your feelings
You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it is the holidays. If you are feeling sad because you cannot be with your loved ones who live far away, or who have died or have become estranged. It is OK to not be OK. Take the time to cry and express your feelings. Realize that it is normal to feel grief and sadness. Do not push these emotions away. You must feel it to heal it. Once feelings have been acknowledged they pass on, however, trying to repress the feelings makes them double in size. What we resist, persists.
2. Be Realistic
The holidays do not have to be perfect or like they were in years past. Families change and grow as do circumstances. This means that traditions will change too. Be open to creating new traditions. Just because your holiday plans may look different, find your way to celebrate its uniqueness. For example, if your adult kids are now spending time with their in-laws, then maybe try Christmas with close friends.
3. Stick to a budget
Decide how much money you can afford to spend before you start doing your gift and food shopping. It is imperative to stick to your budget. Do not get caught in the trap of trying to buy happiness with a mass of gifts.
Try these ideas:
- Donate to a charity in someone’s name
- Give homemade gifts
- Do a family gift exchange
4. Reach Out
People who are feeling lonely or disconnected often avoid social interactions during holiday time. Withdrawing often exacerbates symptoms of depression and feelings of loneliness. People can begin to experience self-doubt and start questioning themselves with thoughts such as, “Why can’t that be me?” or “Why is everyone happier than me?” If this sounds familiar it is important to seek out connections through religious communities or other social events. Many have websites with community events and support groups.
If you find that you are feeling stressed during the holiday period, try reaching out to family or friends to talk about your concerns.
Volunteering is a wonderful way to get out of the holiday blues. As the Dali Lama says, “the best way to help ourselves is to be of service to someone else”. Try doing a random act of kindness and dropping off a meal at a friend’s home. Acts of kindness are wonderful ways to lift our spirits.
5. Keep Up Healthy Habits
Overindulgence adds to our stress and guilt.
Try these tips:
- Try to have a healthy snack before the holiday meals so that you do not go over the top with cheese, desserts, and drinks.
- Eat the healthiest version of what is offered and try to stick to healthy meals.
- Get plenty of sleep.
- Include exercise in your daily routine.
- Try deep breathing and or meditation. There are some great meditation apps on your smartphone and even a minute or two will do you wonders.
- Avoid excessive alcohol, cigarettes, and drug use.
- Try to reduce social media usage and limit the amount of time you watch the news.
6. Learn to Say No
You do not have to say yes to every social event. Please recognize that saying yes when you wanted to say no will leave you feeling overwhelmed and resentful. You do not have to justify why you are saying no, just politely thank the invitee and tell them you are unable to make it. If you cannot say no because it is for work or another responsibility you cannot get out of, then try to take something else out of your agenda to make up for the lost time.
7. Be Selflessly Selfish
You cannot pour from an empty cup. It is important for you to fill your own cup up so that you can pour it into others. Find an activity you enjoy. Read a book, take a walk, listen to soothing music, garden, or create art, anything that will be your time with no agenda other than just being. Make this priority and commit to it as you would a meeting. Most of us feel guilty for taking time for ourselves or doing something that does not produce a result. It is imperative to get used to the importance of self-care as stress is a silent killer.
8. Seek Professional Help If Needed
Sometimes despite your best efforts, you may feel that you are persistently sad, anxious, irritable, and may even have trouble sleeping. Maybe you cannot face the routine chores and have a sense of hopelessness. If these feelings last for a while, it may be time to talk to your doctor or mental health professional.
Try not to let the holidays become something you go into with trepidation. Instead, take preventative measures to reduce the stress and depression that can arise during the festive season. Be aware of your holiday triggers such as personal demands and financial pressures so that you can combat them before they lead to your disintegration. With a little planning and a lot of self-care and kind thoughts, you can find peace and calm and maybe even some joy these holidays.
